“The ‘Temple’ is an experimental, wearable, head-mounted, device, designed to monitor cerebral blood flow in real-time as part of Zomato CEO Deepinder Goyal’s personal research into the ‘Gravity Ageing Hypothesis’. This theory suggests that gravity impacts aging by reducing blood flow to the brain, and the device aims to measure this effect.” (Source: Gemini)
Now that he has ₹500 crore at the very least, he will be hard-selling this device with his trademark zeal and PR. Tens of thousands, perhaps even lakhs of people will soon be wearing this thing on their heads, voluntarily, in public, with apparent pride.
And I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude.
For years, the gullible, the credulous, and the scientifically illiterate have walked among us, indistinguishable from the rest of humanity, forcing us into the exhausting labour of conversation before we could assess the situation and calibrate our escape. Deepinder Goyal, visionary that he is, has solved this problem with the elegance of a man who charges ₹800 for a biryani and gets away with it. The Temple device will, henceforth, identify them from a distance of at least 20 paces, giving one ample time to either alter one’s route entirely or, if retreat is not possible, to adjust one’s vocabulary downward accordingly.
This is not merely a product. This is a public service. A civic amenity, really. And I can’t thank him enough. I, personally, could not have found better use of ₹500 crore, to be perfectly honest. This is a masterstroke.
What a rockstar. What a genius. You da man, Dippy.
