Huzoor. Janaab. Aadaab.

Do you know one of the reasons for the Indian Army winning against their Pakistani counterparts again and again is their (the Indians’) professionalism based on reality as against the Pakistanis’ overconfidence based on comic-book stereotyping?

While the Pakistani establishment, both civilian and military, saw the Indians solely as Hindus who, their indoctrination had convinced them, were weaklings and cowards, wasting time in prayer and superstition, meatless and effeminate, unable to conjure up enough virility, fighting spirit, or even energy to stand firm in front of the mighty Islamic army of the pure Pakistani Muslims, the very sight of which would make their courage and their strength crumble as they marched triumphantly into Delhi, the capital of the erstwhile Mughal Empire, of which they were the rightful inheritors, the Indian political, administrative, and military planners, leaders, and staff had no such illusions about an easy enemy and a walkover victory. They prepared hard, executed like hell, and worked professionally as a nation must if it must win a war.

In short, the Pakistanis were blinded and blinkered by their own minds that stereotyped the Indians and created a fantasyland where the Indian Army was an unprofessional ideological band of superstitious misfits, while the Indians were pragmatic, practical, and stayed grounded in the real world when they planned their campaign.

Recently, however, while seeing some of the films that are being made and the portrayal of the Pakistani military and even civilian establishment in them in a caricaturist, stereotypical fashion, I have begun to fear that our military personnel, drawn no doubt from the same stock of population as the civilian Indians, will start believing this to be an accurate reflection of reality. And we all shall pay the price for it someday.

So, when you see a surma-adorned Pak fighter pilot, a bright green liveried Pakistani plane, or a single middle(?)-aged Sardar fighting an entire Pakistani battalion with, wait for it, an uprooted handpump or, in the sequel, an actual light pole, please remember that it is a dangerous fantasy to believe one’s enemy to be stupid, weak, or cowardly by default due to their religious or ideological beliefs.

I hope our soldiers and officers, our planners and leaders, our politicians and generals are not being taken in by Sunny Deol and Hrithik Roshan, by ‘How’s the josh?’ and ‘To beat us, you must be joking’, and by green screens and Adobe After Effects.

I know there’s only one way to find out. I sincerely hope we don’t have to.