I have always fallen behind when it comes to movie-watching. And the current flood of new exciting movies, added to the surfeit of choice on OTT for non-movie storytelling, is not helping my FOMO.
Recently when I read about the new Indiana Jones, Mission Impossible, and Spider-Man movies, I was determined not to miss them before they left the big screen (why the big screen is another discussion; suffice to say, I prefer that to the smaller versions on the laptop, tv, or handheld). Add to that three other movies that are making a splash: Barbie, Oppenheimer, and The Flash, and it was just a matter of time before they’d come and go and leave me waiting for them to reappear on OTT, and then get me to put them on my watchlist, where they would languish. This has happened multiple times before, with GoT, Harry Potter, LOTR, the new Star Wars movies (and the attendant spinoffs) and so on, none of which I managed to see by the time I got to them.
So, having firmed up my resolve to see them all, I girded up my loins and phoned a friend. Together, we decided to see all six on Friday, 07 July 2023.
There was but one problem: Three of the six were yet to be released! Undaunted, we decided to watch the three available to us. As fate would have it, all of them were running at Phoenix Marketcity in Pune at the PVR, and all of them were running serially, one after the other, in Auditorium 1, and we booked the exact same seats (K5, K6) for all three for the 1305h (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse), 1610h (Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny), and 1930h (The Flash) shows.
Same seats, same auditorium!
Seats K5 and K6, Auditorium 1.
We were to meet at 11-ish, grab a few beers and an early lunch, then watch the first, break for beer and snacks, then the second, and then, after another drinks break, the third. We also decided to get one single small tub of mixed salted + caramelised popcorn but no sodas for each show (so as to conserve appetite but still not sacrifice the mandatory popcorn, without which no one should watch movies anyway).
And so, at 1100h, I was ready at PVR at Phoenix Marketcity in Pune, dressed in jeans, my new (dhinchak, multi-coloured) sneakers, and a thick hoodie (because, for some reason, Indian movie theatre operators love to freeze their audience).
Turns out, we were surprised by three things. The first was that the mall only opens at 1100h, which means, in Indian Standard Time, the shops and establishments in it open at around 1130-1200-ish. This was an easy problem to crack. We sauntered about the sleepy mini-town, enjoying the near-deserted walkways and corridors (it was a Friday, and so the crowd seemed to be expected to come in the evening, which it did, in droves, and right on the dot) till it was showtime. I’ll come to the second and third surprises in a moment.
But the first order of the day was at Allora, the Italian restaurant on the third floor, and it was a (very) large pizza (half-and-half, chicken for my Jewish friend, and pepperoni for me), a plate of cheese-on-toast (which came with eight slices of toast each with a generous helping of cheese), both drizzled in their freshly made chilli-oil and downed with 4 pints of Heineken, each!
That’s at half-time. Four more beers later, we were ready to go on our cinematic marathon.
Here’s a photograph photographing the photographer. Just for fun.
Thus fortified, we ambled into the movie hall to be met with the second surprise: my movie buddy had booked all the movies in the 4DX auditorium. That meant that the chairs would shake and sway with the action in the film, there would be bubbles and mist when the same appeared on the screen, the large, separately installed wall fans would throw strong breezes at us during windy scenes, and so on, all of this presumably the movie-makers’ attempt at making the experience more immersive.
How was it? Firstly, let me admit it was fun. For the first 5 minutes. And then it got old. Quickly. Secondly, it made ordering anything other than popcorn impossible (to begin with, I am 50, with 28 years of chain-smoking that has given me a constant tremor in my hands; add to that, the entire movement of the chair is without warning, since there is no way for the audience to predict this in an action movie, making eating any semi-liquid/liquid item, or drinking anything from those flimsy paper glasses an exercise in acrobatics and a test of balance), which were duly ordered (yes, one small bucket for every film), dropped everywhere due to the constant shaking, and consumed by the fistfuls, sometimes by fighting over the last one!
And lastly, as for the 4DX experience goes, let me quote a dialogue between Indy and his estranged wife, Marion, which appeared at the end of the second film, but which describes the 4DX experience, by the time we were done with all three films, succinctly. In that scene, Marion asks, ‘Where does it hurt?’ to which Indy answers, ‘Everywhere’.
The mandatory popcorn bucket: Half-and-half caramel and salted. Yum!
Now, before I tell you about the movies and what I thought about them (they range from ‘a decent one-time watch’ to ‘the best movie I have seen in this franchise’, to cut a long story short), let me tell you about the third surprise. It would seem that while the movies were chosen randomly, they all had quite some commonality in themes while differing in the treatment.
In each of the films, the protagonist is an outsider who happens to be at the wrong(?) place at the wrong(?) time, each travels into a different dimension, each has to face his (yes, all three males in this case) demons from the past, each wants to stay in the dimension he finds himself, and each realises by the end of the story that they were better off in the dimension they originally came from. I mean, that literally is the arc of every hero in these three stories.
Along with that, each movie had references to itself and to its previous avatars and prequels, which were rather meta and inside-jokey, and I suspect might not always work, especially with those who were watching these for the first time without having watched previous versions or parts, or if they had skipped some crucial ones. So, yes, there was a lot of self-referencing. And a lot of self-deprecating humour too. Rather American, if you ask me. But then, this is Hollywood. So…
Besides that, the other commonality in the narrative was a part of the story was about how a system that was originally conceived to do good turns into a system that works very hard to protect itself, even if that means it has to ‘go rogue’, meaning that it has to move further from where its objectives were imagined when it was birthed.
And then, there were all these scenarios in the films where there were discussions about what happens when we mess with something in the past, and how it affects the present and future, and the morality and ethics behind each. Each of these films handled that differently. And each more interestingly and innovatively than the other.
Enough preamble. Let’s get down to the first movie. To remind my readers, we find ourselves seated on seats K5 and K6 in the 4DX-enabled Auditorium 1 at the PVR in Phoenix Marketcity in Pune, having sat through all the trailers and having stood for the national anthem (where I realised I was too tall for whoever designed this seating arrangement, and my head and torso were blocking the projector!).
Yep. That’s me. And I am just 5’11”, or maybe 6′ if you consider the extra-padded soles of my new shoes.
But before we start, let me quickly put down my rating for each film so that those who have not seen these films may stop reading right here.
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse: 9/10 (The best Spider-Man movie to date)
Indiana Jones and the Dial Of Destiny: 6/10 (Because, Harrison Ford)
The Flash: 8/10 (One less than Spider-Man for live-action)
Explanation: In my opinion, a live-action film nowadays in the times of super-crazy and super-granular VFX leaves little, if anything, to the imagination, with its ridiculous resolution and green/blue screen, which gives God-like powers to the film-maker, who then proceeds to explain every tiny detail about everything by simply showing it to us. A 2D animation allows you to fill in the blanks and does not treat the audience like children. Ergo, an animation story is playing at two levels: On-screen and in my mind. The live-action movie is restricted to the screen. My mind has no role to play, and hence, somehow seems unsatisfactory at the end, like having eaten a lot of chocolates and getting a sugar high, but not feeling full, nor getting enough nutrition for the body.
Enough said. Time to move on. Those who have not yet watched these films may leave now.
Once again: (Mild) spoilers ahead. You have been warned.
Nothing to see here. Just me and my dhinchak shoes, with almost neon-like glow-in-the-dark colours.
And now, to the first film: ‘Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse’. Let me tell you off the bat that this is the best Spider-Man film I have seen. Ever. It starts off, surprisingly (for those that have not seen the prequel, ‘Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse‘) with Spider-Woman, actually Spider-Gwen, and then introduces a coloured Spider-Man (a Spider of Colour: SoC?) with mixed Latino-African parentage and a still-alive mother & father. There’s a backstory (the prequel) here that I could only read about later, which is why I was confused for the first 15 minutes of the film before figuring out what was happening.
Suffice to say, Spider-Man (and Woman, who I thought was a trans woman, based on how things appeared to me then, and later reinforced by more reading on her character the next day) travel through various timelines and dimensions (each one denoted by an Earth with a number, like ‘Earth 42’ is from where the radioactive spider that bit him in the prequel came from), meeting and fighting villains (who, by the time the movie ends, turn out to be other Spider-People). In the process, the film brings back memories of every other Spider-Man film you have ever seen. Almost every scene is iconic and refers to something deeper than the most superficial interpretation. And then, there is the Spider-Man from India, with his distinctive human name, ‘Pav’, short for Pavitr Prabhakar, who lives in ‘Mumbattan’, strangely populated by Sikhs, his distinctive style of swinging and fighting, and of course, all the corny jokes about ‘Naan-bread’ and ‘Chai-tea’, the swinging between colourful clothes hung out to dry on crisscrossing lines, the rickshaws, the billboards (yes, there’s the famous in-movie placement Zomato managed; you can’t miss it), and other Indianisms that Americans like to exoticise. But it is all in good humour, and I realised that at least in that movie hall (sparsely occupied as it was), where there was tittering and laughter at some of the scenes, we can laugh at ourselves.
Then, there are the scenes with Toby Maguire, Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, even one with the Lego Spider-Man, and there’s one with a Spider-Dinosaur (a T-Rex) too which, when it punches the opponent, produces not ‘Thwack’, but ‘T-whack’. Like when Pav punches the villain, it says, ‘Tadak’. I know this may not sound as funny when you’re reading this. But, in the theatre, we all laughed. A bit.
And then, suddenly, as it began (with sounds of drums playing and the chairs shaking violently every time the drumstick made contact with the drums), it ended, leaving the audience hungry for more, and waiting eagerly for the next edition: ‘Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse’, to release sometimes mid-2024.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention: The animation is kick-ass. I was constantly surprised by how much the film looked and behaved like an actual printed comic book. How much effort must have gone into it! And what geniuses the people whose vision this was, the writers and the directors (yes, there were more than one of each), must be! I salute the entire team. You have created a masterpiece and a film that will be studied by animators and storytellers for some time to come.
As we stumbled out (after watching the entire credits, waiting for a post-credit teaser, which never came) rubbing our eyes, we realised we had just enough time (about 20 minutes) to glug another beer and no more, and so we rushed to the Irish House next door, ordered two 500ml Bira Whites, and downed them in a breath before rushing back to our seats (yep, the same ones!) to watch the next feature: ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial Of Destiny’.
Chug. Chug. Chug. CHUG!
Now, if you know why fans of Salman Khan watched every Dabangg, you’ll know why fans of Harrison Ford watch Indiana Jones. And since I am a fan of both, might as well explain: Because. That’s it. I love Harrison and Salman. And hence, I cannot miss especially those films in which they play themselves: swashbuckling heroes operating slightly on the fringe, throwing casual one-liners, taking on crazy odds with elan without breaking into a sweat, and pretending to be rogues but actually being the good guys.
There’s really nothing to say about the film that any Indiana Jones fan cannot already guess: There are Nazis, and there are ancient (but somehow incomplete) artifacts with magical powers that can only be unlocked by going on a rather risky but adventurous treasure hunt to find the missing pieces. Dr Jones fights the Nazis and keeps the magical things from falling into the wrong hands. En route, there are impossible odds, impractical situations, unbelievable coincidences, double-crossing spies, close shaves, and crazy situations, all of which are handled with aplomb (and a casually thrown witty one-liner) by our hero in his deadpan voice spoken from the side of his mouth, as he manages to come out with a minor scratch or two, but with his trademark fedora still on his blond head and his blue eyes still twinkling with mischief, with the iconic theme playing in the background. Tan-ta-da-tum. Tan-ta-da. The end.
Indeed, the meta-ness in all the movies was so thick and in your face that at one point, when Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones gets into a fistfight on a plane (from which he eventually escapes, duh!), I half expected him to punch the villain and say, ‘Get off my plane!‘
Oh, did I say Indy gets to meet (yes, physically meet) Archimedes? No? Probably doesn’t matter. But, like, wow. Really? Who cares, people? It’s an Indiana Jones film. Are you trying to find logic here? Sheesh!
That said, the de-ageing technology in the initial parts of the film blew my socks off. Given how crude it was when ‘The Irishman‘ was produced (it was so obvious in that film, I cringed through those scenes), I was pleasantly surprised to see a totally believable (within the incredulously flexible limits of belief in an Indiana Jones movie) young Harrison Ford, who not just looked young, but had the body language, including the speed, movement, and general demeanour of a younger self, unlike poor old Robert De Niro in ‘The Irishman’, where all I felt was pity for the once-great man.
Anyway, so much for this one. Once again, we found ourselves short on minutes to do our inter-movie drinks and starters. But, this time, we decided that since we had seen the ad for ‘Sainik 710‘ (a boiling-water-proof ply, in case you are curious) and the trailers for Barbie, Oppenheimer, and Mission Impossible (where the ageless, possibly Vampire Tom Cruise makes every 21-year-old who has ever ridden a motorcycle feel embarrassed at their obvious lack of skills as compared to his at 61) twice already, as well as sung the national anthem an equal number of times, we could give them a miss for this last one, and ascended the escalators to patronise Social, the funky pub upstairs, ordered a vodka-tonic and an Old Monk-soda, and sat back to enjoy our drinks in peace.
Last orders, please.
Back in the theatre, the film started without us, and we seemed to have missed the first minute, maybe slightly more. Tired at the end of the day, satiated after two good films, and nicely tipsy with a little buzz, I had already discounted ‘The Flash’ as possibly another dark, brooding Warner-DC film about a superhero with a troubled past and a violent present, even when I knew a bit about the character from my comics.
Turns out, I was wrong. DC has finally managed to nail humour and serious storytelling together. They have a worthy competitor to Deadpool (OK, I may have reached a bit here, but you get the point, right?). The Flash is funny, witty, loveable, satirical, and at the same time, profound in many ways. If I tried to tell you the story, you’d wonder how it was possible to tell this story effectively and without boring the audience. It is a complicated film involving complex characters and their even more complex life histories and emotions. I absolutely loved it. And if you like intelligently told time-travel stories, you will too.
By the way, the Easter eggs keep coming. If you have seen Superman and Batman movies from the past, prepare to jump out of your seat, gesticulating at the screen and animatedly telling your movie buddy about a past actor (yes, Christopher Reeve is there, and so is Adam West!) who played these roles suddenly making a 10-second (sometimes less) appearance, even as other movie-goers turn around and start shushing you! And while we are on the subject, Michael Keaton is my favourite Batman.
The actor who plays The Flash, Ezra Miller, comes across as uncomfortable in the role initially. But he grows on you. And by the time the movie ends, you are rooting for him. As the character he plays. As well as the artist who has managed to nail it.
As I mentioned earlier, the visual special effects and computer graphics are wild! Some of the scenes, especially the slow-motion ones, are a treat to watch, and I was left wondering how they were conceived and story-boarded, leave alone filmed. Kudos to the filmmakers and their special effects crew.
The ending of the movie is very Chaplinesque, though. One can laugh through the entire movie as the protagonist stumbles from one misadventure to another (it was like one of those stories in which the wish-granting Genie mischievously misinterprets every wish, leading to hilarious situations that the wisher finds themselves in, like that Brendan Fraser-Elizabeth Hurley film, ‘Bedazzled‘), but towards the climax, one cannot but shed a tear as the hero effortlessly turns the comic performance into delivering a profound and moving message. Just the perfect ending to a perfect day.
So, off we went to our homes, where I had to prepare for my 400km motorcycle ride to Malshej Ghat (to see the reverse waterfall) the next day, with an ETD of 0500h and therefore, a reveille of 0300h. But having had such a brilliant day, I persisted: charged all my devices (my helmet, phone, auxiliary battery, camera, camera remote, and spare batteries), packed my bag, checked & prepared all my gear, and then, to cap a fantastic day, fixed myself a nice whisky.
Slàinte Mhaith. And good night.
