Punishment and penance.

My maternal grandfather was Gandhian in many ways, but this post is about the way he punished us by punishing himself. When he was upset at any one of us, he would simply stop speaking to that person for the entire day. Additionally, he would also fast for the day, staying hungry as penance for not being able to control his anger.

That, to those of us who loved him, was punishment enough. Indeed, it was torture. Sonakshi’s line from Dabang comes to mind: “थप्पड़ से डर नही लगता, साहब। प्यार से लगता है।”

We couldn’t wait for the day to end just so we could speak to him. And so he could eat!

The meal at the end of the day, and the enquiry about how our day went (the first thing he asked when he spoke to the offending person after 12 hours of silence), was so sweet though that even after all these years, I’ve rarely found anything sweeter to compare with it.

I have also used the very same technique to punish myself whenever I’m upset with someone I deeply care about. And it has been the most effective method to learn humility and patience from. Anyone who I’ve ever cared for and who has ever loved me will attest to this. Kymaia included.