Stage 1: Divine Intervention
My leader is perfect.
Spotless. Selfless. Superhuman. He’ll solve everything. Poverty, corruption, Pakistan, potholes, inflation, pollution, morality, US$, petrol. Overnight. Watch. I am so glad I booted out the corrupt, venal, dishonest, anti-national, murderous, insensitive, criminal Congress. After all, accountability भी कोई चीज़ होती है!
Stage 2: Blame the Past
He inherited a mess.
Give him time. Congress hollowed the country out. He’s cleaning up decades of rot. Miracles take a little longer. Are you expecting him to just wave a magic wand for all the problems his predecessors created? Did you know what Nehru did in 1952?
Stage 3: Blame the Team
He is a great man, but surrounded by fools.
Bad advisors. Weak ministers. Incompetent bureaucrats. Saboteurs everywhere. He means well. But they let him down. The media reports negative news, the judiciary is against him. The world wants him to fail.
Stage 4: Selective Sainthood
Okay, mistakes were made, but he is not personally corrupt.
He doesn’t steal. He sleeps on the floor. He eats khichdi and fasts. He has sacrificed his wife and his family. He’s honest. Unlike those around him. His ministers or friends might be corrupt. But not him. He is pristine. We are lucky to have him.
Stage 5: Moral Equivalence
They’re all the same.
Yes, there are issues. But look at the alternatives. Everyone’s corrupt. Everyone lies. At least he gets things done. If not him, then who? I mean, even within the party, there is no one who can even hold a candle to him. He is as bad or as good as the Congress, which is the alternative, right? So, why not him?
Stage 6: Clutching at Crisis
Now is not the time to change leadership.
There’s a terrorist attack. A war. A virus. A crash. A global conspiracy. We need continuity. We can’t afford instability. He may not be the best, but he is what we have. We can’t change horses mid-stream. I mean, if not him, then who? He is the best of what we can get.
Stage 7: Cult Acceptance
Yes, he’s flawed. But he’s ours.
Corrupt? Maybe. Authoritarian? Perhaps. But he’s my leader. We (read: I) have invested too much to admit we were (read: I was) wrong now. By the way, your protests and accusations are undemocratic. He is an elected leader. You cannot just ask him for accountability! Who do you think you are to question him? Did you ask for accountability when the Congress was in power?
There is a final Stage 8, which we are on the verge of reaching. And that is the
हाँ, है तो है। क्या कल्लोगे?
stage. Once we get there, it’s over.
Some say we’re already there.
