I was not scandalised. More like, “meh.”
BeerBiceps tried to shock. What he wanted was to throw a sexually inappropriate trolley problem joke at the contestant that would make him seem cool. He ended up sounding like a freshly minted seventeen-year-old in First Year Junior College, casually throwing in a “fuck” to impress his friends.
That said, here is my opinion, on a more serious note: He has every right to speak. He did not force anyone. He did not threaten anyone. He did not assault anyone. No coercion, no force, no violence, not even a threat. In fact, there was no victim (unless anyone in that room is complaining; in which case, yeah, let them waste their time filing an FIR and taking this to court over the next 5 years). Let’s face it: he is not a criminal. And he is not evil. He is simply an idiot with a tasteless sense of humour. It may not be funny to us, but that does not make it a crime.
Bad taste cannot be criminalised. And we, the liberals, should know better. If M F Hussain can paint nude Hindu goddesses and be defended for it, if a young woman can be goaded into touching a Naga Sadhu’s privates in the name of faith, if Dev.D and Animal can be made, watched, and celebrated, then what Ranveer Allahbadia did was nothing more a joke that simply did not land (and no, it didn’t land with me as well; but that is immaterial).
And yet, here we are.
Losing our collective minds over a fraud of a man who said something crude about sex on a podcast. Not violence. Not hate speech. Not a call to arms. Just talked. About sex.
There is an old saying: If talking about murder were a crime, every novelist worth their salt would have been hanged. Yes, BeerBiceps spoke about “unnatural” sex. It’s gross. But how is that a crime or a sin in any book?
Free speech is free speech only if it includes the things that make you uncomfortable. The things you do not agree with. The things that disgust you. If you only defend speech you personally like, you are not a liberal. You are just another censor.
And I cannot believe I am saying this.
I cannot believe I am defending that peddler of pseudoscience. That charlatan who platforms every idiot willing to spout nonsense. That social media grifter who would sell his grandmother’s soul for engagement.
I cannot believe I am defending BeerBiceps.
But is that not what true liberalism is? Defending the right of idiots to speak? I mean, there are a million reasons for not watching his drivel. There are perhaps ten million reasons for cancelling him and boycotting his channel. This is most certainly not it.
Meanwhile, as we waste our breath on this non-issue, our society rots from within.
Not quietly. Not subtly. Loudly. Openly. Unapologetically.
Members of Parliament abuse minorities inside Parliament, their words echoing unchecked. Ministers watch (and make tax-free) hate-mongering films and call them “the truth.” Fake news incites mobs, fuels riots, and ruins lives. A WhatsApp forward sends innocent men to their deaths. Deepfake videos destroy women’s reputations overnight. A student is jailed for making a speech about peace and Gandhian disobedience. A journalist is arrested for reporting facts. Judges hesitate to grant bail, terrified of crossing the powers that be, while others justify patently wrong judgments by claiming their god told them so. Opposition leaders are jailed. Businessmen run governments. It’s like the dystopia we read about. Except this is fact. Stranger, as you know, than fiction.
The atmosphere is thick with hate and subterfuge. Poisonous, suffocating, and choking the last shreds of our democracy.
And yet, we, the so-called rational, progressive, informed liberals, have our collective knickers in a twist over a YouTuber’s off-colour joke?
Can we please reserve our rage when genocide is floated as casual dinner-table conversation? When ministers advocate collective punishment for entire communities? When newspapers and news anchors spew outright lies with zero consequences? When schools are told to rewrite history to fit a majoritarian narrative?
Or have we lost our sense of proportion? Our sense of urgency? Are we so short of issues to be outraged about that we’ll take anything?
This is not even fiddling while Rome burns. This is fighting over a pilfered teaspoon of sugar while the house is engulfed in flames.
BeerBiceps got his fifteen minutes of fame. We got ours.
Ghar ko aag lagi hai. Ab uski baat karein?
