Wake up early. Finish your workout. Have a nice shower. Wear a crisply ironed kurta-pajama. Switch on ‘Ghei Chhand‘ (by Vasantrao Deshpande, who else?) on Alexa. Roll up your sleeves. Enter the kitchen. Look at your Kingdom now stretched before you. Smile. It’s going to be a glorious morning!
First, take an extremely spicy, oily, boiling hot matki usal, made by someone you deeply love (and who cooked this late last night just for you), and pour it steaming into a largish bowl—filling around ¾ of it. This is your foundation. This is your soul.
Now, the magic begins.
Step 1: Crunch & Freshness
Add finely chopped raw onion, tomato, and green chillies. Mix well. Press it in. This is where the bite and the brightness come in.
Step 2: Farsan—The Non-Negotiable Layer
Find the freshest, crispiest farsan mix from your local Rajasthani halwai namkeenwala. Avoid the packed nonsense—it has no character, no personality, no soul. Layer it generously.
Step 3: The Cool Contrast
Now, the pièce de résistance: a thick (yes, thick) layer of cold (really cold—that is the key) homemade curd. This is the balance. The harmony. The yin to your usal’s raging yang.
Step 4: The Finishing Touches
Sprinkle a bit of salt (to counter the raw onion and tomato and to blend the curds), a dash of red chilli powder (because food should look as good as it tastes), and fresh coriander (because Ayurveda probably says so, and more importantly, शास्त्र असतं ते).
Step 5: The Ritual
Sit in the winter morning sun, preferably on your balcony. Admire your culinary masterpiece. Take a hurried photo.
Step 6: The Devouring
Eat. Quickly. Before the usal gets cold, the farsan gets soggy, or the curd gets warm. Relish the layers. The textures. The madness.
Post on social media later. Yes, even LinkedIn. Avoid linking it to B2B sales. And then, wait for people to stop by just to tell you why this content does not belong on LinkedIn. Fuck them. It isn’t their fault. They probably weren’t hugged enough as children. Or maybe they have never had Dahi-Misal. Either way, their loss.
