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A Totally Fictitious Story.

I have a company. Let’s call it RCo.
RCo owns 33% of another company, ZCo.

My childhood friend, Andy, owns JCo.
JCo owns 32% of ZCo.
Andy and I are thick. Like thieves.
(Not literally. It’s an idiom. Idiot.)
My father used to call him his third son.

Finally, there’s SCo.
SCo owns 35% of ZCo.
SCo isn’t owned by either me or Andy.

You with me so far? Good.

ZCo (in which RCo has 33%, JCo has 32%, and SCo has 35%) owns 74% of another company, LandCo.
Another company (probably named after Siddharth; who cares?) called SidCo owns the balance 26%.
LandCo is the proud owner of a crazy-ass humungo-globulus piece of land in one of the costliest cities in the world.
How big, you ask?

Take Andheri, Vile Parle, Santacruz, and Khar.
All on the Western line, of course.
Now line them up.
That’s about the size of this land.
But don’t bother your head with this.
Unless you’re a geologist, cartographer, historian, or PWD babu, you can’t comprehend its size.
Just know it’s massive. And crazy expensive.
Got it? Can I move on?

Now, some time ago, Andy and I decided to flex.
We used our combined 65% majority in ZCo to muscle out SCo.
We forced SCo to sell their 35% to me. For a pittance.

RCo became a 68% owner in ZCo.
Andy’s JCo kept its 32%.

ZCo? Ours.
That crazy-ass humungo-globulus piece of Earth? Ours too.
All above board, of course.

But wait. There’s one small detail.
You see, SidCo (remember them?) had a ROFR.
Meaning that their contract gave them the right of first refusal for SCo’s 35%.

If they’d exercised that right, they could’ve outbid me.
That would’ve left me and Andy with just 65% of ZCo’s 74%.
In other words, 48.1% of LandCo.
SidCo would’ve had the majority stake.

But they didn’t.
We asked.
They didn’t take the opportunity.

What was I supposed to do?
I’m a businessman. A real one.
SidCo? Run by babus. Pshaw!

Oh, did I forget to mention?
SidCo is owned by the state government.
My bad. Must’ve slipped my mind.

But hey. Last I checked, India was a democray.
Which means government by the people, for the people, and of the people.
And I am the people, right?
So, government bhi apun ka hi hai na, bhidu.

Now, excuse me while I take the elevator to the helipad above the 27th floor of my house.
Stand there. Shirt fluttering in the breeze.
Watch the sunset over the sea.

And ask the universe,

“Mumbai ka King kaun?”

I just hope my friend Gautam doesn’t mind.

Courtesy: A far more serious post by Jayant Mundhra on LinkedIn (follow him; he’s brilliant) on a piece of news that was hidden in the inside pages.

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