Scene: May 2019, office of RaGa. AICC officers, senior state leaders, and the old guard sit and mull their future. The BJP has used demonetisation to effectively suck all the money out of the system, leaving the opposition with no funds with which to conduct their political activities. The top leadership is crestfallen, looking at the seemingly hopeless situation. They decide to take on an outsider, a dark horse, as a strategist. He has run several companies and has travelled the world. He is low-key as a political thinker but quite flamboyant in his life, making him an unlikely advisor, which is a good thing. No one knows him. Only a handful have even seen him. he isn’t a master of disguise. Merely an extremely unlikely candidate. In any case, no one needs to know. No one needs to find out. Until the job is done.
March 2020: Jyotiraditya Scindia leaves the party to join the BJP with much fanfare, taking a couple of dozen MLAs with him. Party is shocked. High command does not react.
June 2021: Jitin Prasada leaves. No reaction from High Command. There is sullen silence. Prasada enters the BJP.
November 2021: Capt Amrinder Singh quits following a tussle with Navjyot Singh Sidhu (who would leave three years later himself), writing a 7-pager to Sonia Gandhi about a conspiracy. High Command seems comatose. Singh floats his own party, later to merge with the BJP.
January 2022: Another ‘Young Turk’, RPN Singh, switches over to the BJP to later join the Rajya Sabha as a BJP MP. The High Command is quiet.
February 2022: Ashwani Kumar quits. Does not join the BJP, but would ask for a RS ticket later. No response from the Congress High Command.
May 2022: Kabil Sibal leaves. Gets into the RS on a Samajwadi Party nomination with the support of the BJP. High Command makes some noise but remains silent overall.
May 2022: Sunil Jakhar, a fourth-generation Congressman, leaves to join the BJP. Says it was a difficult decision but had to be done. Congress High Command seems unmoved.
August 2022: Ghulam Nabi Azad leaves publicly and starts siding with Modi, who in turn praises him. High Command seems hurt but does not respond in the manner in which expected.
January 2024: Milind Deora quits the day Rahul Gandhi embarks on the Bharat Jodo Nyay Yatra. Makes front page news as he joins the NDA coalition partner Shiv Sena (Eknath Shinde faction) to enter the Rajya Sabha. High Command acts surprised but no further action.
February 2024: Ashok Chavan, a senior leader from Nanded in Maharashtra, leaves to join the BJP in a huge public rally, even making a faux pas while pronouncing his new party’s name! High Command reacts by saying that those who want to leave are welcome to leave. Equates him with Deora and Himanta (current BJP CM of Assam, an ex-Congressman himself, who quit back in 2014).
Following this, over the next two months, a steady stream of senior Congress leaders quit in a huff to join the BJP. Rumours about pressure from ED are floated, some sympathise, some are enraged, some mock. But the High Command seems surprisingly unmoved. It seems the INC has given up the fight.
Some old BJP and RSS hands complain, most internally, very few publicly. They are quickly silenced. Better to be with Modi but without power than against Modi and also without power. Most power centres are transferred to the newly inducted leaders, their word is given much weight during the discussions on strategy as also during the ticket distribution for the impending Lok Sabha elections, where the Prime Minister has personally taken upon himself a target of 400 seats for the BJP alone, in addition to the other NDA partners. Older, more experienced BJP leaders and grassroots workers are not happy but console themselves with the thought that if Modiji has taken this decision, he must have put some thought into it and that he works in mysterious ways. They put their shoulder to the wheel and work hard to get their candidate, an ex-Congressman, elected to meet the 400-seat target. The BJP pours thousands of Crores into the elections to ensure their win.
April-May 2024: The 2024 general elections are a resounding success for the BJP. The INC makes small gains but is limited to less than 100 seats. BJP comfortably romps home with 395, just short of the magical 400 number, but still close. Ex-Congressmen make up over 250 seats of these. BJP IT trolls are out in great numbers mocking the Congress leadership and RaGa for losing to their own people. Bharat is that much closer to being Congress-mukt.
The grand swearing-in is scheduled for 10 May 2024. It is Akshay Tritiya, and also the birthday of the mythical Parshuram, the angry, muscular, warrior father of all Brahmins who was blessed with eternal life, even having a brief run-in with Lord Rama (who broke the bow Lord Shiva had gifted Parshuram), only to realise they are both avatars of Lord Vishnu. A perfect day to anoint the new Hindu Emperor of Bharat and install him on the throne forever. Narendra Modi and his team are preparing for the ceremony. There is so much to decide: What will he wear, how many times will be change, where will the cameras be, how will he walk, who will receive him, what mantras will be read by the 10,000 Hindu priests in attendance, which dignitaries would be invited, who would be snubbed, how will the press sing his praises, and so on.
And then, out of nowhere, a piece of unusual news is brought in by Doval, his intelligence chief, the Desi James Bond: Apparently, there is feverish activity at the Taj Falaknuma Palace. All 60 rooms have been booked by the Telangana Congress, which holds sway in the only state still in INC’s hands. All 261 rooms of Taj Krishna are booked too. Coincidentally, over 250 MPs from the BJP are camping at Taj Krishna, while Mukesh and Gautam are staying at Falaknuma Palace, as are Ratan and Adi, NRN and Azim, and the Jindals and the Nadars, the Poonawallas and Mittals.
There is confusion. And mayhem. The press conference called in Hyderabad has more shocks. The former Congressmen are returning to the INC. The moneybags are funding the ghar-vapasi. Khargeji is preparing to meet the President in Delhi to stake claim. Even BJP MPs have started to panic and are calling their contacts to see if there is a place for them on the treasury benches.
But Rahul is nowhere to be found. He is riding with his motorcycling buddies in the Himalayas. Amongst all the imported, expensive bikes in his file of over 25 two-wheelers is a cheap Indian make, Royal Enfield, and riding the 2022 Interceptor is his strategist, kept secret from the media for five years.
They stop at a tea shop. Rahul picks up his cutting chai into the air and says, ‘A toast to a brilliant planner. And his plan. We spent nothing on these elections. And if all goes well, ladies & gentlemen, we’ll soon be forming the government in Delhi. Long live the idea of India.’ Everyone raises their glasses. The BattleCat III, parked a few feet away, shines in the sun. And smiles. She knows. She always knew.
हम को मालूम है जन्नत की हक़ीक़त लेकिन
दिल के ख़ुश रखने को ‘ग़ालिब’ ये ख़याल अच्छा है
