Recently, I announced my separation from my wife of 9 years to my friends on social media. Some of you already knew, or had figured it by yourselves, but to most, it was a surprise, and rightly (as anyone would, given the circs) people assumed I was in great pain. This post is to clear some things up a bit.
So, to begin with, a big thank you to you all. Many of you called me, some messaged me here, some on my phone, some offered advice, some offered help, some a patient ear, some even shared resources like therapists and reading material. Thank you once again for all of it.
But, and this is important, I am fine. So is Tashuji. And so, as many of you wanted to know, is Kymaia. This was a long time coming, and none of this is a surprise to the concerned parties. We are as prepared for this as we could have possibly been. We just went to court and formalised something that was on the anvil for well over 7 years.
The divorce is not through yet, and it would take its own time (from my experience, not that I am proud of it, it takes 6 months from the date of filing). That said, even though we cease to be a romantic couple, we remain friends and I plan on shifting to a new place literally in the same housing complex so Kym can just drop in any time of the day or night, she can play or bring her friends over or sleep some time in her mum’s house, some time in her father’s, and some time in her Masi’s, all of which will be in the same complex.
She is a very smart kid and she’s figured this out by herself long ago. Also, because there will hardly be any actual physical separation as far as she is concerned, it will soften the blow a bit for her. Another thing is that both, her mother and I, as well as the entire family from both sides of her family, are solidly committed to her happiness and well-being, and every care is being taken to ensure that she does not suffer.
Her physical activities will continue as usual, and her homeschooling will carry on as usual. The physical space for her will actually be enhanced by this move. Indeed, she will have one more place to call her own now (not yet, because I am yet to find the right place in the society complex, but soon) and her family, if anything, will grow and not shrink.
Yes, this is not the ideal situation for anyone, child or adult. But these are the cards we are dealt, and this is the hand we must play. She shall go on in life to make her own luck. We can only do our best, and hope.
She is a happy, well-adjusted, curious, empathetic, and healthy child, and if somehow we can translate that into a similarly happy, well-adjusted, curious, empathetic, and healthy adult through a lot of perspiration and a bit of luck, she should turn out fine.
I will, of course, continue to write about Kymaia and our efforts to raise a good human, here as promised. Do engage. Your encouragement and involvement mean a lot to me. And to Kym.
Before I conclude, once again: thank you. You are all rock stars.
