1. Everyone knows that a drink without something salty to snack on with it is as good as a Mann ki Baat: Pointless. But we must thank Modiji for ensuring that The Great Snack in the Sky keeps showing his benevolence on us Earthly alcoholics. Truly, Modi hai to namkeen hai!
2. Do you remember how Yogiji was given a chance when he was nowhere on the horizon to be the CM of India’s most loved state? You won’t believe it, but Yogiji would not be where he is without Modiji. he must remember that Modi hai to bumpkin hai.
3. Indian freedom was just a 99-year lease signed by the Congress. In 2046, the country would have turned into a British colony. But because of Modiji, at the stroke of midnight, we will all turn into mice and our Parliament will turn into a pumpkin. Indeed, Modi hai to pumpkin hai.
4. Remember Jubilant Foodworks? The people who bought you Domino’s Pizza, the one where you could eat the box it comes in and still not know the difference? Yep, those guys. They also brought in Dunkin Donuts in April 2012. Do you know why? Because they knew that in about a couple of years from then, Modiji would be sworn in as the most successful Prime Minister of India (as certified by UNESCO). As is clear, Modi hai to Dunkin hai.
5. Did you know the popular (and much-awarded) children’s writer, the 87yo Ruskin Bond, was going to retire last year, but shrugged off that thought to publish a new anthology, ‘Writing for My Life’ that has some of his best poems, short stories, essays and memories in October 2021? Do you know to who he owes this burst of creativity? Exactly. Modi hai to Ruskin hai.
6. There’s a new movie, set in 1820, in which a Texan fur trapper journeys into the mysterious Buckskin woods in the hopes of saving a lost young boy, which was released recently and is so horrible as to make it, in the words of a reviewer, ‘an abomination.’ That said, it still has a rating of 3.2 on IMDb because the same reviewer goes on to claim that, ‘Almost every good rating comes from an account that was made within this last week or at least has Buckskin as the only thing they reviewed.’ Do you know which film-lover single-handedly made this movie into the super-duper hit 3.2-star movie by making new IMDb accounts? Well, now you do. Modi hai to Buckskin hai.
7. Hindus have been in danger of being overrun and outproduced by the Muslim hordes that have ruled India for over 700 years. However, the Hindu King, Modiji, has arisen at the right time to ensure the survival of Dharma and to push back the raging waters of Islamic conversion and Love Jihad. Hindus across the world have much to thank this peerless warrior for their survival. Surely, you will not disagree that Modi hai to foreskin hai.
8. Before we got our independence (no, not the 1947 one, the real one in 2014), only the superrich could afford the CK brand of underwear. Once Modiji has come to power, even they cannot afford it. But given how much Modiji loves branded clothes, he is single-handedly holding up their top line, as they hold up his, well, bottom line. CK ought to be grateful to Modiji. I think Mr.Klein would be the first to say that Modi hai to Calvin hai.
9. Before 2014, no one wanted to sing Vande Mataram. Indeed, very few people knew the song composed by Bankim Chandra, which was sung by the Congress in each of their sessions since the venerable Thakur sang it in Calcutta in 1896 and which was banned by the British for being nationalistic, and which was played on AIR ever since independence. But since Modiji came to power, everyone is singing it, even those BJP workers and ministers who do not know even the first line in the first stanza, but insist that others sing it too. In a way, Modiji saved our national song. Modi hai to Bankim hai.
10. The most successful Prime Minister in the world, as certified by Harvard and NASA, is so foresighted that he single-handedly raised the sales of binoculars in the country. Because sometimes, when people need to see him, and he is so far ahead of them, they need to use these special lenses. For this foresighted leader, I think we can all say with pride that Modi hai to doorbeen hai.
