The frustrating part, when one announces a big decision to friends, is their immediate reaction (‘Have you thought about this?’ ‘You can’t just take that big a decision in a hurry.’ ‘Are you sure about this?’) that somehow I, a 50-year-old man with considerable life experience, have given it (a decision about my life) less thought before announcing a life-altering decision (about your life, mind you) than they have in the first 30 seconds of hearing it. Mate, if I had not thought deep and hard about this, if I had not tried every avenue available to find alternative solutions, if I had not considered it in its entirety, including its short-, medium-, and long-term implications, if I had not done everything in my power to avoid taking a step this drastic, I would not be doing it at all, leave alone telling you about it.
I understand you are being sympathetic and want to show you care. But questioning my call off the bat is not the best way to demonstrate your support. Please give me, and my intelligence, experience, and capabilities a bit of credit. And be humane. I need to know you are around, and should I need to speak, should I have any self-doubt, should I seek counsel, you are available. Not assume I need instant and contrary advice and start supplying it regardless of solicitation.
There are times to question my call and there are times to stand by me without hesitation. Recognise which is which. Please.
