Preamble: I never called Baba ‘Abbajaan’, but ever since Yogi Adityanath (the current CM of the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh) insinuated that only those who called their father’s ‘Abbajaan’ would get ration before he came to power in 2017, many of my friends have posted about their fathers, purposely using the hashtag #Abbajaan on social media. This is mine.
Long back, when Baba was told he was doing a great job as a father, he said that he hoped it would be remembered and repaid when I become an adult.
I was in earshot and while it did hurt a bit to hear that my father, my perfect human, my Superman, the person I wanted to be like, thinks parenting is a debt children owe to their parents, I was curious to know why he (who I knew never to say anything off-the-cuff) said what he did.
He smiled. ‘Yes, Jumbo,’ he agreed (he would call me ‘Jumbo’ very lovingly, way before he even dreamt of flying one from the PIC’s seat, leave alone train others to do so; such was his love for the B747) ‘You do owe me a debt. But you do not have to repay me by doing anything for me during my lifetime. You have to pay this debt forward. To your child, and all those who will look up to you and try and imitate, emulate, or follow you. You owe a debt to society, to your teachers, relatives, peers, and friends. That debt, Jumbo, needs to be held in trust, and repaid in full and with interest to those to who you are a father figure. Lastly, it is expected that you let them know that what they are getting is not free, and must be restored to society when it comes due. I know you won’t get much of what I just said, but one day, you will. And I hope you will remember to repay me.’
So, to all those who say, without doubt very lovingly, that I am being a good father to Kym, know this: It is simply a debt I am repaying to my #AbbaJaan, my Baba. Just not back to him. And I hope that when it is Kym’s time, she will honour the IOU she’s writing now in return for what she is getting.
