Morning musings.

The kind of people I am surprised are still friends with me on social media:

1. Religious nuts with a wall full of quotes from their holy book and profile pictures that are about their superstitions faith.
2. Atheists who are atheists because they think it fashionable.
3. Atheists who are atheists because they have really understood religion.
4. Atheists who don’t understand the difference between an agnostic and an atheist.
5. Atheists who split hair about claims of belief and knowledge and make themselves insufferable at parties.
6. Vaccine and/or mask deniers.
7. Ivemectin evangelists.
8. AYUSH, astrology, aura, Reiki peddlers.
9. People who crack ‘wife’ jokes.
10. Modi bhakts.
11. Mamta bhakts.
12. Gandhi bhakts.
13. Godse bhakts.
14. Just bhakts.
15. People who write ‘hi deer’ in messages, or use ‘dear’ in any form while commenting on my post.
16. Evolution deniers.
17. People who think they are cyclists because they own a bicycle.
18. Actual cyclists.
19. Grammar Nazis.
20. Literal Nazis.
21. Rape apologists.
22. Climate change deniers.
23. Casteist and racist folks.
24. Savarnas who claim they cannot see caste.
25. White folks who claim they are colourblind.
26. Pro-reservationists.
27. Anti-reservationists.
28. Anti pro-reservationists.
29. Pro anti-reservationists.
30. People who worship Ambedkar.
31. People who hate Ambedkar.
32. People who have read absolutely no Ambedkar but still belong to one of the previous two.
33. People who have read Ambedkar and do not belong to any of the above two.
34. People wedded to one political party or ideology, regardless of situation, context, or perspective.
35. People who make their religion out to be some esoteric mix of high philosophy, ancient technology, and futuristic science and refuse to even call themselves religious, or indeed their religion religion.
36. Poets, writers, essayists, doctors, surgeons, musicians, scientists, and philosophers whose subjects of expertise I have regularly confessed to not comprehending and in fact insinuated to be some sort of witchcraft.
37. People who believe everything they read and see in the news.
38. People who believe nothing that they read and see in the news.
39. People who don’t read and see the news.
40. People who don’t read.
41. People who only read.
42. People who are counting the numbers thinking I will say, ‘People who missed noticing that number 13 was skipped.’
43. People who will actually go now and check if number 13 was skipped but won’t admit it.
44. People who don’t travel.
45. People who won’t travel.
46. People who travel all the time, posting pictures from their sojourns.
47. People with locked profiles.
48. People who share everything.
49. The perennially busy.
50. The eternally vella.
51. People who will not read till the end before ‘Like’ing this.
52. People who will read it all diligently but won’t admit they did.
53. The diabolically optimistic.
54. The constant whiners.
55. Closet capitalists.
56. Card-carrying communists.
57. Capitalist on the inside but communist for social media.
58. Communist on social media but living a capitalist life.
59. Capitalist on social media but living off a welfare state.
60. Confused about what capitalism or communism even means.
61. People talking of golden means without knowing what those mean either.
62. Nehru-lovers.
63. Nehru-haters.
64. People who find Rahul cute.
65. People who think Rahul stupid.
66. People who don’t know whether ‘Rahul’ refers to a politician or a character in a KJo film.
67. People who missed that joke.
68. People who got that joke.
69. People who got that joke but act like they missed it.
70. People who missed that joke but act like they got it.
71. Dog lovers.
72. Vegans.
73. Hard-core meat-eaters.
74. Meat-eaters who wish they were vegans.
75. Vegans wishing they could eat meat.
76. History lovers.
77. History haters.
78. History makers.
79. History sheeters.
80. Those who think mythology is history.
81. Those who think history is mythology.
82. Farmers.
83. People who call themselves farmers.
84. People who think they know economics.
85. People who understand economics but pretend they don’t.
86. Actual economists.
87. Politicians and actors.
88. Actors who are politicians.
89. Politicians who are actors.
90. Actors who want to be in politics.
91. Politicians who think they are actors.
92. Army men, both serving and former.
93. People pretending to be army men.
94. People pretending they understand military strategy and tactics.
95. Pilots.
96. People who’d rather be flying.
97. People who read Chetan Bhagat on the sly but claim they don’t.
98. People who haven’t read Chetan Bhagat but claim they hate his writing.
99. People who think Chetan Bhagat is in the government.
100. People who Chetan Bhagat writes for.
101. People who Chetan Bhagat writes about.
102. Chetan Bhagat.
103. Sexist, patriarchal, regressive folks.
104. People who watch too many tv soaps.
105. People who have never watched GoT, Money Heist, or Sacred Games.
106. People who can quote from GoT, Money Heist, or Sacred Games.
107. Actors and directors who no one has heard of.
108. News columnists.
109. Engineers who are still doing actual engineering.
110. Others. (Who are not doing anything remotely connected to the engineering degrees they worked hard for and their parents worked harder for)
111. Successful people.
112. People who think they ought to be successful by now.
113. People who think they will never be successful.
114. The eternally happy.
115. The born cynics.
116. People whom I have met or spoken to.
117. My classmates.
118. My colleagues.
119. Old friends.
120. New friends.
121. Old new friends.
122. New old friends.
123. My relatives.
124. My ex-relatives.
125. My future relatives.
126. My future ex-relatives.
127. People who will never reach this point and would give up reading mid-way.
128. People who would reach this point and wonder what point I am trying to make.
129. People who would unfriend me after this.
130. People who would send me a friend request after this.
131. People who will share this for no reason whatsoever.
132. People who will spend a long time thinking of a witty comment to make, and then not make it.
133. People who will type off a snappy response immediately.
134. Anyone, actually. How are you still friends with me? Are you not offended yet? Am I not trying hard enough?

That escalated quickly!