This is a serious question: How do I teach my child, who has not been introduced to religion, about privilege and caste? Every time I try and tell her something, she mistakes it for class and not caste. When I try to explain how caste came about and how it is inherited, she just laughs and claims no one can be that stupid. I am at my wit’s end. And then, tonight, in a book about strong Indian women, we had to read about Savitribai Phule, and Kymaia was just incredulous, like in complete denial that any of this could ever have been true. When I said that not only was it true then, not much has changed even today, she claimed I was making stuff up, and we had to switch to reading about Rani Laxmibai, the previous story.
How should I introduce caste to a naturally atheistic child? Without religion, caste makes no sense to a 6yo. Because the reason it works is the belief that it is sanctioned by an Almighty. Take that belief away and it collapses like a house of cards.
I wish no one would ever have to teach their children about caste. But we live in a world where it matters, for different reasons. To the Savarna child, as a reminder of their privilege, and to the Dalit, as a reminder of their lack of it. I fear that if she grows up without understanding where her privilege truly springs from and how to remain forever mindful of it, she may turn out to be one more ‘I don’t see caste. No, really. I don’t,’ Brahmin adult, perplexed that they can be blind to something everyone else can see so clearly, and therefore dismissing it and denying its existence and influence, thereby perpetuating the very thing they claim not to see or be part of.
I shall have to start a search for better language and communication to explain this to Kymaia. And I suspect that is because I myself haven’t understood it entirely. Because it’s true what they say: You can claim to truly understand something only when you can explain it to a child.
So, onward we go, not running or even walking. But crawling. Nevertheless, moving forward. Or so we hope.
P.S (Later edit): She gets class. She gets race. Those are things she can see. I have no problem explaining those to her. She may not understand how deep-rooted they are or how they affect everything and everyone or even what she can do about this. The point is, she gets these (race and class) intuitively. Because they are obvious, even to a child. But not so with caste. So, to those saying I should talk to her about class and race and privilege, those aren’t the issues I am struggling with. It’s specifically caste. Maybe, as someone suggested, she’ll get it eventually as she grows. But that is exactly what I want to avoid. It is like not familiarising your kid with stuff she will accidentally run into later and not know how to handle, or will handle in the completely wrong (harmful to her and others) way. I’d rather she knows at least the basics and is equipped with some defence mechanism before she comes face-to-face with these monsters under her bed.
