There are many things I have not done in the past 48 years of my life. Like lying under oath. Or robbing a bank. Or taking candy from children. Or committing fraud. Or shooting heroin. Or peddling it. Or cheating on my partner. Or murdering someone. Or rape. Or not using Oxford commas. Or jumping off the 11th floor. Or pushing someone off it. Or laughing at a funeral. Or being sentenced to a prison term.
This list is, of course, not unusual for most people I know, except perhaps for the crime of not using Oxford commas (but that is another post). The point is not that I have led a life mostly going about it without committing a major crime. That should be par for the course. The point is that if I did any of these now, I’d not talk about it proudly as having done something that hasn’t been done since I was born. Doing things that haven’t been done before does not automatically qualify you for respect. It is not the uniqueness of what you have done or how many times and since what date you have done it, but the intrinsic value of what it is that you have done that should count.
My ability is not judged, nor should it be, on ‘doing things I haven’t done since birth’. If I were to ask any sane person to hold me in high esteem just for this one ‘achievement’, I’d be considered weird, and perhaps slightly off-balance. And most definitely not someone to be entrusted with any responsibility whatsoever.
Least of all, to be put in the Prime Minister’s chair.
P.S: I have also not soiled myself in public for a rather long time, methinks, perhaps for 90% of my life. But do you really think that if I piss myself tomorrow at work, I’d stand up proudly and show people the wet patch. And expect them to give me an ovation? Of course not. I am just a regular chap. Not the Prime Minister, for goodness’ sake.
