The Good Old Days Of 20 Years From Now

Baba and I during the “good old days”!

We often forget to be grateful for how good we have it. I remember looking back at my first startup (back in 1990, in my FE) and remembering how stressful and hectic everything was, but still reminiscing fondly about it and the times. I recollect my Std X board exams and early relationships, my first stage performance and initial attempts at mastering the motorcycle, my fumbling with my first kiss and the naiveté of my politics, and all the anxiety and nervousness of assuming that if I don’t get THIS right, it will be the end of my world, with “THIS” being anything I was doing then. It all seems so laughable today, but the truth is that I was dead serious then, as were my peers, and as are today’s 18yos.

Now, while I have no objection to all that change-the-world-or-bust passion and energy of the youth, it has started to amuse me that throughout our lives, we take ourselves so seriously and believe profoundly & deeply that we are somehow not doing enough, not working as hard as we can, not being able to reach our potential, and are so completely under-confident and full of imposter syndrome as well as constantly fearful of missing out, that we forget to stop and smell the roses along the way, and take a moment to reflect that the world isn’t as bad as we seem to have made it in our minds…or, to be more precise, OUR world isn’t as bad as we seem to have persuaded our own minds to imagine.

A friend of mine asked me what I would write as advice to my 18yo self as I stare at the big Five-Oh golden jubilee of my own, and I remember answering it thus: “Don’t worry. Things are going to be just fine. You are not as fat, as ugly, or as stupid as you think you are. You have brilliant hair and skin, and your body is just perfect. Things are not as bad as they look. They very seldom are. That girl you are chasing isn’t as perfect as you think, and the next whatever it is that is giving you sleepless nights isn’t as important or crucial to your life as you have convinced yourself. You need to calm down and enjoy what you have, where you have it, and just go with the flow & flow with the go. It’s all good, mate! And yes, one last thing: Do NOT pick up that first cigarette. Just. Don’t.”

And serendipity being what it is, this morning, in my Medium newsletter, I received one of the most meaningful articles I have read in recent times. You may read it here.

It would seem, from the research cited in the article that (much) older people tend to look back at their lives and point out at their happiest moments, which happen to be the ones we all seem to overlook: When we have a family, when we have children/pets running about, when we are focused on our careers and working hard to make ends meet, and dreaming of the day when we somehow don’t have to do all of this and can retire!

It makes me an even stronger believer in my Baba’s (the late IAF Wg Cdr, later Air India Capt Anil Gadgil) theory of happiness: “The good old times of 20 years from now are happening right now. Enjoy them!”

So, to all of us: Take a moment. Take a break. Take a deep breath. Look around. Now, take another breath. it’s all good, man. It’s all good. Or at least, it ain’t as bad as it looks. You’ll look back at these times with fondness before long. Why not enjoy it while you are actually in it?

P.S: I know I need to check my privilege. But then, I can be grateful for having it so good, even while I empathise with those that don’t, right? My consciousness of my genetic lottery is in fact heightened by the knowledge that I have benefitted greatly from it.

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