To: Kedar Anil Gadgil
Residing at: [address redacted], Pune, India
From: Natasha Singh-Gadgil
Represented by: Jonson & Johnson, Attorneys at Law, Mumbai, India
SHOW CAUSE NOTICE
Dear Mr.Gadgil,
Greetings of the day.
Mrs.Natasha (“Client”) has brought to our notice certain activity by you that is not concomitant to the wedding vows and promises made by yourself to her on 24 April 2012, on the day you (“Accused No.1”) signed the said contract, the Certificate of Marriage (“Contract”) as attached herewith [redacted].
We (on direction from the Client) employed a registered private investigator to gather evidence of this breach of Contract and now have on our hand, enough documentation to seek cause from yourself about the alleged infidelity on the night of 22 August 2017 in the in the Dining Hall of your current residence (as aforementioned).
As Exhibit A, please see attached photographs.
Exhibit A – 1
Exhibit A – 2
It has come to our notice that you professed your undying love and proposed marriage, while being in a supposedly monogamous relationship with the Client, to another hotter (actually, nicely warm), and (in your words) “heavenly, scrumptious, beautiful, melt-in-your-mouth-tasty [sic], and delectable” third party.
It has also been observed (see attached photographs) that you attempted to elude detection by shaving off your beard, and hiding your face behind your hands when confronted with the photographer while caught in the very act of this alleged infidelity.
As if this were not enough, we have enough evidence to confirm that you repeated the very same, extremely disgusting and distasteful act of proposing the very same marriage to at least one more party at the same instance.
It would also seem that you paid for the services of these parties and had them delivered to your residence with the express purpose of consummating your vile act of tasting them and testing whether they were fit for marriage.
With this notice we serve you, we demand you show cause for the same within a period of not more than 24 hours from the date of receiving this notice.
We also join the supplier of these to this lawsuit: Riwayat (Accused No.2), The Dark Kitchen, whose name itself has undertones of a long, dark, tradition of importing these virgin untested morsels of tasty recipes and authentic dishes from as far as Awadh in the United Provinces of yore, and make them party to this notice.
The other parties that were involved in this alleged act were:
1. Ms Shaami Kabab (Accused No.3);
2. Ms Galawati Kabab (Accused No.4);
3. Ms Gosht Tawa Masala (Accused No.5);
4. Mrs Awadhi Paratha (Accused No.6); and
5. Mrs Rumali Roti (Accused No.7).
Abovementioned, collectively referred to as “The Accused” henceforward.
You are accused of the following heinous crimes and we demand you show cause for your actions:
1. Professing love for Accused No.3 initially and devouring her tender body in the most vulgar display of gluttony
2. Shifting your amorous attentions to Accused No.4 and proposing marriage and elopement to Awadh, where you planned to spend the rest of your life with the Accused, as long as she acquiesced to allow you to cohabit with Accused No.6
3. After consummating your wild desires and lust for the abovementioned Accused, claiming your love for Accused No.5 and insisting she agree to an unholy union with Accused No.7
4. Consuming a molasses-based, dark intoxicant (named after an ageing ascetic) with some sparkling and some frozen water to wash down your sins
You did not even spare your child, an innocent 3-year-old, with whom you refused to share the affections of Accused No.4 (Exhibit B).
Exhibit B
This behaviour was compounded by the fact that you insisted your lawfully wedded wife (the Client) not partake in this ghastly spectacle by sharing even a small piece of Accused Nos.3 to 7 with her, even when she claimed she was on a diet and needed just a little from your plate.
As such, we hereby demand that unless a reasonable cause is shown to our Client, she shall be constrained to order in secret from the same dark kitchen, and consume the said offerings all by herself, without as much as by your leave, and (must we say) without any sharing of the said items.
We request you take this under advice that such behaviour will not be tolerated more than once a week, and that you should abstain from any takeaway orders from Riwayat for the immediate future, lest your holy matrimony suffer the ignominy of two fat (but happy) people, yourself and your wife.
We remain, yours most sincerely,
Jonson & Johnson, Attorneys at Law
